Up in the Night

I am up in the middle of the night. I have so much on my mind that I cannot sleep. Have you ever had that problem? I think I am having a I miss Cassadee moment. I keep thinking about her alot lately.

Here are some of my favorite things about her that I miss!

I miss going and playing with her on her Make a Wish Playground! She was so excited to get her very own curly slide.

I miss going camping with her. She was always so excited to do anything fun and away from the hospital.

I miss her strength and her constant reminder to choose the right. I was always amazed by her inner strength. She wouldn't move a muscle everytime they poked her with an IV. She always wanted to continue the fight. She gently reminded us of what was most important. She would tell me every time that we passed the temple that she was going to get married there some day. Then she would turn to me and say Mom, have you been to the temple lately? It still amazes me the amount of people she influenced for good. I still have people come up to me and thank me for allowing her to be a part of their lives.

It was always a challenge to try and find things to do at the hospital to occupy our time. She was so happy this day. She found all of the great big hospital syringes in her room and went out in the hall and squirted all of her favorite nurses. If you look really close, you can see her IV hanging out of her arm. She is actually getting chemo right when she is squirting. Most of the other kids were sick in bed during their chemo infusion, but not Cassadee!

I miss her people skills. This is during our trip to Disneyland. She went around and made all 42 people on our trip feel special. She let them know she was happy that they were there with her. I was always amazed at how many kids called to play with her. I can't tell you how many times I had to tell them that I was sorry, but she was too sick to play today.

Even though this picture makes me really sad, I like to look at it for a lot of reasons. I like this picture because it makes me remember how sick she really was. Even though she didn't act as sick as she should have, I know she was miserable a lot of the time. She had to endure more yucky stuff than anyone should be allowed. I can remember what we were thinking this day and the sadness in our eyes. I knew we were going to miss her alot, but I also knew that she was supposed to go and that she would be in a better place. I love that even in a coma, she is clutching onto her rose to give to Jesus when she meets him. I often wonder what that meeting was like. She was most excited for that moment. We talked about it often. I have to think that they are pretty good friends. I miss you Cassadee!